Always
by babysugarbear
Summary: A roswellian learns that love doesn't always last forever


UC fic  
  
About how after everything they went through he/she still went back to the CC person.  
  
"Always"  
  
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...  
  
it's telling me all these things...  
  
that you would probably hide...  
  
am I... your one and only desire...  
  
am I the reason you breath...  
  
or am I the reason you cry...  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't get around you...  
  
I breathe you... I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
I feel... like you don't want me around...  
  
I guess i'll pack all my things...  
  
I guess i'll see you around...  
  
Inside... it bottles up until now...  
  
as I walk out your door...  
  
all I hear is the sound...  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't get around you...  
  
I breathe you... I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I left my head around your heart...  
  
Why would you tear my world apart...  
  
Always... always... always... always...  
  
I see... the blood all over your hands...  
  
does it make you feel... more like a man...  
  
was it all... just a part of your plan...  
  
this pistol's shakin' in my hands...  
  
and all I hear is the sound...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't get around you...  
  
I breathe you... I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I love you... I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I pick myself off the floor...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
Always...Always... Always... I was run out of town for following my heart. For loving someone I thought who would love me in return. All I'm guiltily of is falling in love. He promised me the sun and the moon but fell back on those promises. We hid our relationship as long as we could. Hidden kisses stolen here and there. Phone to each other in the middle of the night. You were worried she would do something crazy. She was always the fiery one of the group. I constantly wondered if you just thought this was all a game. Something you did when you grew bored of Maria.  
  
But you assured me differently. That this wasn't just a phase.  
  
After I told you I loved you, you said you didn't care who knew about us. That you wanted to shout it out for the entire world to hear. You would always love you promised day in and day out once people found out.  
  
We took the rejection and rumors as one.  
  
The shut out from Max and Isabel hit you the hardest. The only family you had turned your back on you because of me. You said it didn't matter, that all that did matter was that you had me. That I was the most important thing in your life, that I was your family.  
  
I took the pain of being deemed a lying whore at school with my head held high. The few people I had spoke to had dropped me like a ton of books.  
  
No matter what we loved each other and that was all that matter. I moved in with you and life felt perfect.  
  
But all it took was one look, just one glance for you to go running back.  
  
You said I wasn't the rebound chick, that I was THE one. But all she had to do was call in the middle of the night crying and you were there.  
  
Tried denying it at first, told me how much you loved and would never hurt me. But I saw beyond the lies. I wasn't stupid waiting up for you every night. Crying myself to sleep because I had given everything up for and this is how you treated me in return.  
  
Maybe I was strong enough to deal with the rumors and icy glares but you weren't. Once things got bad you wanted out. My life had been one bad nightmare. Being raised by a killer, taught a destiny I was forced to follow, found my family only to be shunned by them and found my "true" love you betrayed me.  
  
And just as I was beginning to move on, who waltzed back into my life. Begging me to take you back. The sad part is I almost did. I said I needed to use the bathroom, give myself a few minutes to collect myself.  
  
I heard you cell ring and you talking in hushed voices to her. You had a fight, stormed out and she wanted you back. And like a good boy you were going to running back.  
  
I couldn't let that happen. Not again, to watch you run back into her arms, while I would always be second best.  
  
Never in my wildest thoughts did I think I would ever kill you. You were the love of my life but the rage and anger built up inside. So strong and fierce I couldn't stop myself. All I could hear were lies and your broken promises.  
  
I snapped out of my trance after the gun emptied every single last bullet in your body.  
  
I stood there watching your blood slowly drain out of you. That is where Sean found me, standing over your dead body with a glazed look in my eyes.  
  
He quickly grabbed a few things and we were off to Mexico.  
  
Sean loves. I might not be able to love him the way he loves me but he understands.  
  
I will never leave him and he will never leave me. He gave up his life for me.  
  
But the rest of my life will be hallow and filled with what could have beens.  
  
I only made one mistake in my life and that was loving Michael Guerin.  
  
I made the one mistake of falling in love with Michael Guerin.  
  
Prison sounds much better the life I'm left with.  
  
That was the worst mistake in my life. Falling in love. 


End file.
